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Corsa Addict
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 Posted: 05 Mar 2013, 14:18 |
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Joined: 29 May 2007, 13:54
Posts: 49791
Location: Paarl...ex Durbs
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Went out last night and got really wasted.
I woke up in the middle of the night next to some rough looking woman who
was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK!
The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last
night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next sh!te could spell disaster.
My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.
Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last
night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her,
"Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed,
"I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
A girl I know said the last time she had sex, it was like the men's Olympic 100 meter final.
I laughed, "Over in 9.5 seconds?" "No," she said, "Eight black men and a gun."
A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking about my sister."
"That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."
A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to this country so that they can see their own doctor.
I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
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Opel Club Cape Town Member
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WezGSI
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Posted: 05 Mar 2013, 14:29 |
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Joined: 15 Mar 2007, 12:46
Posts: 5458
Location: kuilsriver
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LMAO! few good ones!
_________________ Opel Club Cape Town Chairman My Ridez Opel Kadett Superboss  16vS 20 XEToyota Prado 3.4 V6 VXHyundai Getz R Open-filter-box 16 vEx Ridez 2000 Opel Corsa B 1.8 16v  conversion 1991 Opel Cub 1.6i 8v c16ne conversion 
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Mr Lupini
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Posted: 05 Mar 2013, 15:19 |
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| Opel Club Cape Town AFFILIATE |
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Joined: 16 Mar 2007, 09:43
Posts: 32589
Location: Supposedly I am in Cape Town
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bwhahahaahah
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'SOFAKENWAT'
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Chezza
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Posted: 05 Mar 2013, 16:21 |
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Joined: 27 Feb 2012, 15:52
Posts: 287
Location: East Coast
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 some good sh!te  _________________ '07 OPEL CORSA 1.8  '08 MITSUBISHI OUTLANDER
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Chez 200is
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Posted: 05 Mar 2013, 16:39 |
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| Filter, Exhaust & Branch |
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Joined: 24 Jul 2012, 10:15
Posts: 913
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Corsa Addict
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Posted: 11 Mar 2013, 11:58 |
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Joined: 29 May 2007, 13:54
Posts: 49791
Location: Paarl...ex Durbs
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Meat SCARE:
This whole horse meat thing is getting out of hand....I just heard that buffalo wings contain chicken!!
My doctor told me to watch what I eat, so I went out and bought tickets for the Durban July.
With all the meat related revelations of the past week, I'm waiting in anticipation to hear the truth about Monkey Gland sauce...:O I am wonderıng what about Black cat peanutbutter
Food labels will no longer use "kilojoule content" to describe the energy value, it will now be referred as "horse power"
O die donkie, o die donkie is 'n wonderlike ding. Hy rek die mince en maak meer wins oOoOoOoOo die donkie is 'n wonderlike ding
Al die dames wat nog wag vir haar ridder op die wit perd, gaan aan met jou lewe, jou perd is opgevreet
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Opel Club Cape Town Member
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